Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.This little gem (minus the No symbol) has popped up on my Facebook feed several times lately. Oddly, I’ve only seen it posted by my conservative Christian friends, and it tends to get many Likes. Every time I see it I want to say, “Really? You’re that proud of the hold others have on you?”

So I decided to add the No symbol and explain why I’m not a fan of this “wisdom.” To me, since Christians should know better, it says something about the absence of serious spiritual training in many churches today. We’re taught to keep a single-minded focus on the cross and forgiveness.

We are not taught how to gradually take back freedom from sin’s control over daily living. In fact, a very popular teaching is that it’s impossible to do, which is why you need constant forgiveness. Apparently, it’s the only definition of victory they know.

So, (1) this saying is just a long-standing habit common to man. It’s the old way, the “world’s way,” and nothing has seized us but what’s common to man. Personally, I’d prefer to overcome common habits so they don’t eat me alive or keep me stuck with a snippy, blind, complaining spirit that sees nothing but wrongness everywhere I turn.

Jesus offers better alternatives for our blessedness and well-being, and I want to practice all of them. He assures us that habits can be broken. This is one of them. As Paul observed, it’s a matter of putting off the old self and putting on the new, one habit at a time.

(2) On the surface, I can see how this might make someone feel powerful by putting others on “notice.” It’s a kind of warning with a touch of smug superiority thrown in. “As long as you’re not a jerk, I won’t go off on you.” Conversely, if I go off, you’re the problem, not me.

But in reality, this puts others in control and, effectively, makes me their bitch. Owned.

I doubt that Christians realize how this thinking shoots them in the spiritual foot, keeping them insecure with little sense of power. But when you feel powerless, all you have to rely on is a life-style of little threats, which only bring little (or big) threats in return. Then you wonder where all the blessedness is, perhaps concluding that it only comes after you die.

The great power of Christianity is its offer of steady escape and freedom. When Scripture talks about ransoming slaves, setting captives free, or freedom in Christ, it’s talking about this very sort of thing. It offers divine guidance and modeling, and puts you squarely in control of your attitude and reactions. As we “grab hold” of new, transforming life, it also offers grace when we stumble from time to time over old, dying habits.

(3) Perhaps the greatest mark of well-practiced Christ-followers (to which I aspire) is that their behavior, will, and attitude/spirit/heart have nothing to do with what others do or say. All the NT writers made self-control fairly obvious. And they didn’t have any advantage that we don’t have, including Christ’s personal presence and teaching.

Don’t return insult for insult. Bless those who curse you. Love your enemies, because if you love only your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Let your Yes be yes and your No be no. Etcetera.

That’s power. It simply isn’t vulnerable to the whims of others. So I don’t want people dictating my reactions, thank you very much. Who wants to be dragged all over the place by other people’s randomness?

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