WARNINGS

Poison Warnings (Photo credit: hugovk)

Parts 1 and 2 looked at the top two toxic habits common to people of all cultures and time periods. They remain entrenched because we either believe them to be good (willful anger and contempt) or don’t realize we’re harboring them (an adulterous spirit that divorces God’s kind of love). Therefore, we’re in no great hurry to get rid of them.

Unfortunately, they intensify poison #3: swearing oaths. This is another broad, sneaky category that includes promises, commitments, or keeping one’s word, which always seem right and good, but can backfire into hard-hearted stubbornness and pride. So when Jesus addressed this in his Sermon on the Mount, he advised to not swear at all. Instead, just let your Yes be yes and No be no. “Anything further comes from the evil one.”

Warning: May Cause Blindness

Tied to this is insistence—insistence on winning arguments, for example, or forcing others to live up to our expectations, standards, or demands. Swearing and insistence are a common form of spiritual adultery that can kill a loving, gracious spirit. The opposite would be to not force or press a claim, one positive definition of the Greek word for divorce (apoluo).

I’ve said in other posts that the basic definition of pride is a pre-disposition to insist on having your way. It’s the opposite of love and brings with it impatience, unkindness, ego, compulsion, manipulation, and all sorts of inner and outer turmoil. (more…)

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Man with log in eyeBen Franklin said, “The proud hate pride—in others.” Most of us understand pride as stubbornness, egotism, or boastfulness; and, as a Church, we’re quick to condemn all the pride in the world. At least we’re trying to be humble, so Ben’s statement doesn’t apply to us, right?

I like the following definition because, to me, it’s a real eye opener: Pride is the pre-disposition to insist on having your way. And everyone does that, some more than others, especially in the religious arena.

By contrast, love is the pre-disposition to not insist on having your way. C. S. Lewis noted, “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” Paul’s famous line that love doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, and isn’t proud (1Cor. 13:4) thus makes perfect sense.

Paul didn’t mean romantic love (eros), since romantic love does these very well. Poets and songwriters like to say that eros is noble and all about the other person, but it’s actually rather insistent on having its way. (Just watch what happens when marriage or romantic relationships go bad and egos are so terribly wounded.)

Paul was talking about agape love, the opposite of pride. Agape is precisely the great “beyond” that exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, and the life to the full that Jesus offers to those who repent (change). (more…)